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Humor for Computer Professionals

Humor for Computer Professionals

Humor, jokes, and fun for programmers and consultants. The lighter side of programming and computer consulting. After a trying day of coding or hooking up networks, it is nice to sit back and laugh at ourselves. For whatever reason we have a reputation of being stiff but I think most of us really love humor. I know I do!

Make your life a little more fun and enjoy some laughter

Laws of Computer Programming
If you are a programmer, I am sure you can relate to these rules for programmers shown below:
1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
2. Any given program costs more and takes longer.
3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
As a programmer I know I live by these rules and I bet you can relate to them also.

Programmer Humor

1. Real programmers don't eat quiche. In fact real programmers don't know how to SPELL quiche. They live on Twinkles, Doritos, Coke & Swechwan food.
2. Real programmers don't bring brown bag lunches. If the vending machine sells it, they eat it. If the machine doesn't sell it, they don't eat it. And vending machines DO NOT sell quiche!
3. Real programmers like vending-machine popcorn. Coders pop it in microwave ovens.
4. Real programmers hide in the top left-hand drawer of their desk, a stash of double-stuff Oreos for special occasions. Underneath the Oreos is a flowcharting template, left there by the previous occupant of the office.
5. Real programmers don't play Tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing in OK,and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
6. Real programmers don't drive rusted out Mavericks. They prefer BMW's, Lincolns or pickup trucks with floor shifters. Fast motorcycles are highly regarded.

Top 20 Replies by Programmers When Their Programs Don't Work.

1. "That's Weird..."
2. "It's never done that before."
3. "It worked yesterday."
4. "How is that possible?"
5. "It must have a hardware problem."
6. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash."
7. "There is something funky in your data"
8. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
9. "You must have wrong version."
10. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
11. "I can't test everything!"
12. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
13. "It works, but it's not been tested."
14. "Somebody must have changed my code."
15. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
16. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
17. "You can't use that version on your system."
18. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
19. "Where were you when the program blew up?"
20. "I thought I fixed that."
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